P.S. If you were at Cuscowilla you will be given a government job and a membership at Congressional....if you vote for me
__________________ Hitting the Ball is the easiest part of the game-hitting it effectively is the most difficult. Why trust instinct when there is a science."1-G.
14. HEALTHCARE POLICY: Since golf is played outdoors and is considered exercise, golfers will be given reduced health care insurance cards.
15. BANK REFORM: Banks must issue golfers with 0% interest loans and credit cards with presentation of Handicap Index Card.
16. FOREIGN POLICY: The U.N. will be disassembled and be replace by the UGN (United Golf Nations). Whoever wins the Ryder Cup basically gets to run the world for 2 years, provided they do not break the by-laws of the USGA or R&A.
17. All cities and towns with a population of 10,000 or more will be granted Federal funds to build a golf course with bent grass greens.
18. We will build de-salinization plants and/or steal water from Canada to make sure that the bent grass greens stay perfect.
19. All Presidential speeches will be carried on The Golf Channel.
20. Keri Murphy is my first pick for V.P.
__________________ Hitting the Ball is the easiest part of the game-hitting it effectively is the most difficult. Why trust instinct when there is a science."1-G.
Where will you hold your outdoor press conferences? I suggest ditching the Rose Garden and addressing the world from the 18th green at -- where else? -- the Augusta National! And, in keeping with the world's new casual nature, still in your golf clothes.
You should even be given your own cottage there for use when you are 'in residence'. After all, Ike got his . . . why not you?
Where will you hold your outdoor press conferences? I suggest ditching the Rose Garden and addressing the world from the 18th green at -- where else? -- the Augusta National! And, in keeping with the world's new casual nature, still in your golf clothes.
You should even be given your own cottage there for use when you are 'in residence'. After all, Ike got his . . . why not you?
I was thinking underneath the big oak tree at the club house. As my appointed Secretary of Instruction you will have ANGC membership and full use of the Eisenhower cabin.
By the way, two changes regarding golf in the U.S.
1. Pants vs. shorts gives an instant distinction between pro and amateur golfer.
2. Beverage cart girls will be replaced with jolly old men in cardigans who carry a grand assortment of the finest cigars, cognac and single malt scotch and can tell grand tales. Speaking of which......cart girls will be sent one per hole to help look for lost golf balls. They will be hot and wear mini-skirts year round. If you have to lose a $4.00 Bridgestone you may as well get something out of it
__________________ Hitting the Ball is the easiest part of the game-hitting it effectively is the most difficult. Why trust instinct when there is a science."1-G.
Press Secretary: This will be held for Alex Chung and Burner as a joint position. My theory is if we have two guys that most of the world can't understand doing the talking then they won't ask so many questions!
Secretary of State: Boo Weekley. He got it done at Ryder Cup, he won't talk too much at press conferences and he will do the job right and still have time for huntin & fishin.
Foreign Affairs Secretary: Fred Couples. He's just smooth.
White House (Club House)Food Procurement Director: You guessed it, Ted Fort.
White House (Club House) Chief of Entertainment: Neil Kynaston
Special Envoys to the UGN: Reeves Weedon/Ian Clark/Paul Smith/ and Paul Hart
Governor of Kentucky: Kenny Perry, because he deserves it.
Personal Assisants to the President: Paula Creamer, Natali Gulbis and a host of others which will be released later.
__________________ Hitting the Ball is the easiest part of the game-hitting it effectively is the most difficult. Why trust instinct when there is a science."1-G.
White House (Club House) Chief of Entertainment: Neil Kynaston ?
He looks and speaks like James Bond's (the current one) older brother. I think Secretary of Defense is more like it. Plus he knows his "single malts". Just ask Bill Castner.
B. J. Hathaway, G.S.E.B., M.C.I.
Hybrid Mode
